Mind-Blank.

I'm dreading your arrival, because it brings about that something, a reality that I do not have the courage to face up to. I've been wondering, is this really me? Is this what i really want out of this? I've not got that answer, all i've got, is even more bewilderment and disgust. I'm standing right here, fantasizing about what i really want, with nothing done at all to achieve it. Will this be a dream turned reality? Is this really all i could do?

Is history really gonna repeat itself? Please don't, for I can't take it anymore. The rough times spent, all alone, were the worst i've ever been through, and i've got this feeling, that it's back, once again. I've overcome all those once, made me stronger. However, it will just bring me back down, deeper into that hole right now. I've lost it all, I've lost that courage, that drive, that passion. I've lost myself.

A random remark from someone made me think. Does anyone really know who Dawn is? Or are they all deceived by that mask i put on every time? Seems like it. To them, i seem like a joker, those happy-go-lucky type. She was indeed surprised to see the real me. I've never told anyone what's going on inside my mind before, not even my closest ones. Pondering, if i should ever open up to the world, to pour out all my troubles. It's difficult, i'm too used to bottling everything up. Makes me stronger in some way or other too. It's gonna explode at any time. I can't control myself anymore.

Is this really all i'm capable of? Carry on, for it's easier this way. Not having to account to anyone.

Dawn/Dusk/Kueh
02081994
Xinmin Secondary

Mind-Blank.

I'm dreading your arrival, because it brings about that something, a reality that I do not have the courage to face up to. I've been wondering, is this really me? Is this what i really want out of this? I've not got that answer, all i've got, is even more bewilderment and disgust. I'm standing right here, fantasizing about what i really want, with nothing done at all to achieve it. Will this be a dream turned reality? Is this really all i could do?

Is history really gonna repeat itself? Please don't, for I can't take it anymore. The rough times spent, all alone, were the worst i've ever been through, and i've got this feeling, that it's back, once again. I've overcome all those once, made me stronger. However, it will just bring me back down, deeper into that hole right now. I've lost it all, I've lost that courage, that drive, that passion. I've lost myself.

A random remark from someone made me think. Does anyone really know who Dawn is? Or are they all deceived by that mask i put on every time? Seems like it. To them, i seem like a joker, those happy-go-lucky type. She was indeed surprised to see the real me. I've never told anyone what's going on inside my mind before, not even my closest ones. Pondering, if i should ever open up to the world, to pour out all my troubles. It's difficult, i'm too used to bottling everything up. Makes me stronger in some way or other too. It's gonna explode at any time. I can't control myself anymore.

Is this really all i'm capable of? Carry on, for it's easier this way. Not having to account to anyone.